From Your Dog

Hey, food person! You’re awake!!

Let me reach up so we can sniff each other’s noses! You’re awesome. I love licking your face.

I’ve been up for a few hours. I’ve been waiting here by the door and watching people pass by the house. Sometimes they come past with other dogs, which I know are just dying to move in here. No way, Fido!

Yes, I’m going to watch you eat breakfast. My powers of concentration might be limited most of the day but you’re eating. Did you know Nikon learned about auto-focus by watching dogs around food?

Did you know that one in 6 begging efforts result in some sort of food down my throat? I’ve done the numbers.

Did you know that one in 14 instances of just hanging around the food area result in a morsel falling to the ground? And I love it when we have kids over. The odds increase like you wouldn’t believe!

BOWL!

YES!! Leftover milk is soooooo good.

I’m 1 for 1 for today already!

Why don’t you do this when we have guests? Actually, why don’t guests do this when we have guests?

Where are you going? It doesn’t matter. I’ll follow.

Go ahead. Check your email. I’ll just lay here by your leg. Or maybe over here. The beanbag’s looking good. No, I’ll stay here.

Actually, can you let me outside? Look, I’m standing by the door!! Awww c’mon! PLEASE!! It’s only email. It’s not like you’re saving the world, or getting food. Thanks so much. You’re awesome.

Hey, can you let me in! I know it’s only been, like, 5 seconds or so, but I just had to check that outside was still there.

It’s still there.

OK, so where are we going now? It’s OK. I’ll follow.

Oh, you’re going into that room! The small one with the white seat in it. It’s ok. Yes, I’m sad but I’ll just wait outside. I’m not 100% sure what goes on in there but the smell is familiar. I smell it when we’re in the car sometimes.

Which leads me to……

Why do you watch when I go poo? And why do you get that strange look on your face when I drop the first segment, turn around to sniff it and drop the second segment somewhere else? You act like it’s weird or something.

I think there’s a crumb in this piece of carpet. I’m going to lick it until I find it. My nose is awesome! This carpet is awesome!

Where are you going now? It’s OK. I’m coming.

Ah. Shower time. It’s weird how you guys have removable fur. A little cold, you say? Sure.

Go ahead. I’ll just wait here. And sniff.

Hey! You have a tissue in your pocket! I love tissues. They tear so easily – look! Rip, rip, rip! Tissues are awesome!

Here. Let me help you dry off – the old tongue towel! You do the upper bit. I’ll do the lower bit. I know – nothing above the knees. The water tastes good off your legs.

You’re awesome!

You go and pick out some new fur. I’ll just sniff stuff here in the bedroom. Don’t mind me.

Oh no. You’re putting your dark paws on. If we’re going for a walk, you always wear the light paws. The dark ones mean you’re going away for HOURS! You know about dog years, right? Hours in your time are like days for me!! How could you do this??

Oh, and now you’re going to bribe me to go outside with puppy breakfast. If I go out, you’ll leave, won’t you? You’ve done this before.

Must. Not. Go. Out. To. Food.

But it’s food!! I can’t not have food if it’s available!!

You’re awesome!

….

Where is food person?

Oh. There’s the car. You left the house while I was eating, didn’t you?

Again.

It’s OK. I know you have to go so you can work to buy me food. I’ll just watch you leave from this gate. Yes, these are my sad eyes. Yes, my head is tilting. I’m not putting this on. I really am sad. You and Mum and the kids are the only people I know. You’re my pack. When my pack goes, I’m on my own. I don’t like it on my own.

I guess I’ll just lay here on this concrete step. Lucky I have my paws for a pillow.

The sun spot should be here soon……

Here it comes……

Zzzzzzzzzzz

Charli

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6 Comments

    1. Charli (she) is an American Cocker Spaniel, which is the smaller of the two Cocker breeds (the other is the English Cocker).

      She was around 1 year old in that photo. She’s 8 now, but still just as cute 🙂

  1. And here we are, humans, referring to a “dog’s life” when we feel miserable. Written by you, a dog’s life is something I’d sign up for many days (admittedly not every day).

    Enjoy the little fellow !